i am earthangel.: GRATEFUL: 2008 year-end review

few more hours and we will say goodbye to 2008.

so i would like to take this opportunity to reflect on what happened with my life this year.

i have already had a summary of the 1st half of 2008 and only a handful of friends read about it (and i want it to keep it that way. period.) . hence, onto the 2nd half...

few days after my blog entitled "right of passage" summarizing my life until june 2008, i was caught by surprise at the change of my ex's profile pic in friendster. at first i was dumbfounded, happy for awhile until it sank in.

i ate my words... i never thought he would find a replacement for me that fast. karma hit me back. i spiraled down to loneliness, depression, heart brokenness and pain.

3 months of negativity and sadness prevailed. my mind has been psycho-analyzing everything that happened between us. all of a sudden, i didn't see a bright future ahead of me. gloom, panic and doom filled me down to my core. that was where i am in - total darkness.

september came and i have decided to swallow my pride and did the unthinkable. i tried to win him back. i had to do it so that i will not regret not doing it in the end. i lost the battle but i was at peace with myself knowing that i have tried my damn best.

so, i blogged about it saying to myself that it is time to move forward. it is time to think of myself again, focus on the positive, be optimistic. it was a hard task, being optimistic, for i am a natural pessimist. i had to read self-help books, tried to find God and my faith by attending a few SOLV meetings, go out with new found girlfriends enjoying once again the single life - PARTY. with this, i started to accept things that come my way replacing the negativity, i found refuge in the three girls i became close with: gemma, april and celia. life became brighter as i look forward to seeing them as often as i can. i found the kind of friends i am looking for: always there whenever you needed them in good times and in bad.

october came and i slipped. cried again. trying to find meaning and even understand my ex with 3 guy office mates (jasper, macky and shit! i forgot the third one - wilson) - how does a guy's mind work. with their help i start to pick up the pieces once again.

got hooked with wax. bikini wax. still thinking if i should get a brazilian. leg wax. underarm wax. everything wax! darn, i so wish i could have my own franchise if i have 500-grand! went to boracay with family, tanned myself a little bit. got drunk, partied with friends, goal setting, addressed my stressed-blemished face by going to a dermatologist. beach life with friends.

on to my recovery and little by little, i start to see and appreciate the good things.. even the simplest of things. i started to embrace that God has a plan for me. added goals, simple goals that would keep me focus on the positive side of single life.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

added new girl friends to my list: ayeen and nishy. both officemates of mine. divisoria shopping buddies and future drinking and poker buddies if schedule permits us to being together.

then there was my forever childhood girl friends... che, joy and maja.

this single life of mine, perhaps, will be focused on having relationship with the female species. i always am comfortable being with guys and this is a new thing for me. this, i am enjoying.

oh by the way, the craziest thing that i did was to sign up for online dating!! to my dismay and maybe God is saying, "you will not find him there". so i decided to give that thing up and wait for my prince charming.

eventually, i learned to make myself happy once again without needing someone or something to make me happy. for now, i am content and looking forward to new memories with my new besties. like what they say, he will come when you least expect it. plus thanks to twilight, i am so much in love!! AAAAARRGGGHHH!!!

i have accepted my fate with my petition. i will wait for two years. i'll spend my time waiting here enjoying my good company. i have decided not to have another serious relationship here as this is always an issue with my ex-loves. maybe my better half will be a caucasion. ooooohhhh!!! so looking forward to having beautiful and handsome half-breed daughters and sons!!!! i shall find my edward in the states. :D

to end... i am thankful for my siblings for giving me gifts!!! i am so proud of being the youngest in the family. never did my exes gave me this kind of good stuff - I SWEAR!