newsbits

had my o-rings changed last thursday to pink ones. this time, no more mickey mouse. took pictures of my teeth and found that there was movement. ang galing!

-- oOo -- oOo --

started contemplating once again about my life last friday. i really wanted to open up to someone whom i have never talked with often but haven't found that someone yet. telling my uncertainties in life to friends that i see almost everyday makes me afraid that they will roll their eyes and think that i am a broken record. hence, i keep this ill feelings to myself hoping that some form of nice entertainment or gleeful moments would temporarily forget my anxieties in life. it certainly works, though, never forget the word temporary.

called a friend a floor up ranting about the long wait i have to deal with this greener pasture. patience is really not a virtue of mine coupled with the my status quo makes me crazy even more. more ranting... more questions... why up until now, there is no man who has shown interest in me? pathetic, right? i wish i am a superwoman who doesn't need to be with a man. but for me, as susan sarandon said in the movie shall we dance:

"We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'"

i am deathly afraid that i will die alone and that i have felt that nobody loved me the way i wanted to be loved. call me idealistic, self-centered, what have you. that's just me.

*lump on my throat*

so this friend of mine, is ever so optimistic, really has a talent of seeing the silver lining. she tells me that this someone destined for me is not here but in a different place. maybe so. if it is so, then please dear Lord, make me patient!!! and make me be content with my life!!! minsan talaga nakakainis na rin ako. :)

so just as i was going into the deep abyss of negativity, some kinda of funny happened to me on this day.

out for our usual friday lunch at a veneto pizzeria ristorante, there was my ex. i told gemma about it and when i told her where he is everybody looked at him. all throughout lunch, they've been teasing me nonstop. well, i had a great time. even flattered when 2 of my friends told me we were look alike. it was the fourth time i saw him. is God teasing me too?

--oOo -- oOo --

so there, i said my piece. now it's out. and i am feeling ok now.

--oOo -- oOo --

finally watched one more chance at a friend's apartment. good thing i watched at this time. if i watched that last year, i might have cried buckets of tears. funny, i relate to the character basha. the need to have space in order to find myself. the realization to say sorry for hurting the person and learning the lesson. and the hope that there will be happy endings in this journey of mine.

another round of contemplating with gemma on the way home. she told me: "malay mo, blue-eyed magiging asawa mo."

sana nga.